It's less than two weeks away, or T-11 in rocket scientist terms, until my Big Move from the dry desert Southwest to the lush, green, wet, wet, WET of central Florida. One can forget, especially if one hasn't moved cross-country in say, thirteen years or so, just how exhausting, not just the act but the simple idea of moving can be. There seems to be an emotional component to it, a vague fatigue that arises, not so much from action itself, say putting together yard sales, scheduling moving trucks, filling boxes. And boxes. And boxes. (Which okay, I confess, I haven't really even begun yet.)
No, a sort of malaise has washed over me. Not a sadness so much as a stillness. A thickness, an inability to move which I can only liken to the pre-birth phenomenon of "nesting" where one prepares their abode for the pending little one, only there's no "little one" on its way for me. I sense it has to do with saying silent good-byes which come via being still with the things I am leaving. Mentally documenting the ending of this stage of my Life. And it shows up in the darndest ways.
No, a sort of malaise has washed over me. Not a sadness so much as a stillness. A thickness, an inability to move which I can only liken to the pre-birth phenomenon of "nesting" where one prepares their abode for the pending little one, only there's no "little one" on its way for me. I sense it has to do with saying silent good-byes which come via being still with the things I am leaving. Mentally documenting the ending of this stage of my Life. And it shows up in the darndest ways.
I tell myself I'll do yoga, but can't seem to find my way to the mat. I've had "go for a hike" on my to-do list for the past fourteen consecutive days - and still haven't went. Fortunately, I have friends who show up insisting I get out and play. Or others who swing by to write. On the last such writing date, I pulled out some collage canvases and together my writer friend and I let the images speak to us, working their magic into and through us. My favorite writing of the lot turned out to be about Constellations.
Which is cool as stars come up a LOT in my work. I love the idea of innumerable universes out there, not necessarily awaiting our exploration, not even sending the message "we are not alone" as much as letting us know there's about a cazillion other ways of thinking, doing, existing, BEING out there. None of us hold the patent on the way. it's. gotta. be. done.
Which is especially comforting as I ponder this upcoming move. I'll be moving with my partner, who is from Florida, was born there, and who has not only a loving family, but a job, waiting for her with open arms. Her path is pretty much paved for her.
Me? Not so much.
Which really isn't so new for me - all my life I've pretty much been making it up as I go along. Which has worked pretty great so far. But lately???
Which is especially comforting as I ponder this upcoming move. I'll be moving with my partner, who is from Florida, was born there, and who has not only a loving family, but a job, waiting for her with open arms. Her path is pretty much paved for her.
Me? Not so much.
Which really isn't so new for me - all my life I've pretty much been making it up as I go along. Which has worked pretty great so far. But lately???
Lately, NEW ideas and dreams and mysteries (oh my!) have been filling my head. Places I want to go, things I want to do, experience, see and be. New thoughts. New ideas. But ... but. How do I explain these new visions to the outside world, I wonder? How do I get that nebulous (pardon the pun!) nod of approval? And from whom? And then, just like that, the answer came through in a journal writing about Constellations. Which said:
"You don't have to explain your path, your goal, your mission to anybody else. Don't make your forward movement contingent on anybody else 'getting' it. It's not theirs to 'get.' It's yours/mine to get. It's my game of connect the dots, my box of stars scattered on the living room floor, ready to be pieced together in some constellation that might only make sense to me. Which is as it should be, as it's always a greater power moving through all of us, piecing together the mighty patterns of the stars themselves. We don't have to ask others to understand; they're busy pondering and comprehending the design of their own constellations. We just have to trust, and boldly take our designated place in the brilliant night sky."
What a perfect time to be contemplating my upcoming, newly forming constellations - while I'm thick in this process of Reverse Nesting. Saying my quiet good-byes to what was, as I gently make room for what wants to be born next. In whatever shape or form it may take. Whatever, it is, I'm sure it's already ...
Written in the Stars.
As is YOUR destiny, your future.
YOUR constellation.
Wishing you all manner of delight as you piece your pattern together.
In Love and Light,
Dante
"You don't have to explain your path, your goal, your mission to anybody else. Don't make your forward movement contingent on anybody else 'getting' it. It's not theirs to 'get.' It's yours/mine to get. It's my game of connect the dots, my box of stars scattered on the living room floor, ready to be pieced together in some constellation that might only make sense to me. Which is as it should be, as it's always a greater power moving through all of us, piecing together the mighty patterns of the stars themselves. We don't have to ask others to understand; they're busy pondering and comprehending the design of their own constellations. We just have to trust, and boldly take our designated place in the brilliant night sky."
What a perfect time to be contemplating my upcoming, newly forming constellations - while I'm thick in this process of Reverse Nesting. Saying my quiet good-byes to what was, as I gently make room for what wants to be born next. In whatever shape or form it may take. Whatever, it is, I'm sure it's already ...
Written in the Stars.
As is YOUR destiny, your future.
YOUR constellation.
Wishing you all manner of delight as you piece your pattern together.
In Love and Light,
Dante
PS - If you'd like to do some writings from YOUR collage, you can schedule a 7-Day Journaling with Collage session with me by clicking here.
Or if you'd like to be in the heady energy of a group setting you can join the 21-Day Journaling with Collage challenge that begins on July 12 by clicking here.
I'd love to see you at one (or both!) as together we explore the stories whispering in your collages and writing.
Or if you'd like to be in the heady energy of a group setting you can join the 21-Day Journaling with Collage challenge that begins on July 12 by clicking here.
I'd love to see you at one (or both!) as together we explore the stories whispering in your collages and writing.
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